Tuesday, July 30, 2019
Sunday, July 28, 2019
Leo Tolstoy on Kindness and the Measure of Love
[copied from brainpickings.org, by Maria Popova]
“Nothing can make our life, or the lives of other people, more beautiful than perpetual kindness.”
“Practice kindness all day to everybody and you will realize you’re already in heaven now,” Jack Kerouac wrote in a beautiful letter to his first wife and lifelong friend. Somehow, despite our sincerest intentions, we repeatedly fall short of this earthly divinity, so readily available yet so easily elusive. And yet in our culture, it has been aptly observed, “we are never as kind as we want to be, but nothing outrages us more than people being unkind to us.” In his stirring Syracuse commencement address, George Saunders confessed with unsentimental ruefulness: “What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness.” I doubt any decent person, upon candid reflection, would rank any other species of regret higher. To be human is to leap toward our highest moral potentialities, only to trip over the foibled actualities of our reflexive patterns. To be a good human is to keep leaping anyway.
In the middle of his fifty-fifth year, Leo Tolstoy (September 9, 1828–November 20, 1910) set out to construct a reliable springboard for these moral leaps by compiling “a wise thought for every day of the year, from the greatest philosophers of all times and all people,” whose wisdom “gives one great inner force, calmness, and happiness” — thinkers and spiritual leaders who have shed light on what is most important in living a rewarding and meaningful life. Such a book, Tolstoy envisioned, would tell a person “about the Good Way of Life.” He spent the next seventeen years on the project.
In 1902, by then seriously ill and facing his own mortality, Tolstoy finally completed the manuscript under the working title A Wise Thought for Every Day. It was published two years later, in Russian, but it took nearly a century for the first English translation, by Peter Sekirin, to appear: A Calendar of Wisdom: Daily Thoughts to Nourish the Soul, Written and Selected from the World’s Sacred Texts (public library). For each day of the year, Tolstoy had selected several quotes by great thinkers around a particular theme, then contributed his own thoughts on the subject, with kindness as the pillar of the book’s moral sensibility.
Perhaps prompted by the creaturely severity and the clenching of heart induced by winter’s coldest, darkest days, or perhaps by the renewed resolve for moral betterment with which we face each new year, he writes in the entry for January 7:
The kinder and the more thoughtful a person is, the more kindness he can find in other people.
Kindness enriches our life; with kindness mysterious things become clear, difficult things become easy, and dull things become cheerful.
At the end of the month, in a sentiment Carl Sagan would come to echo in his lovely invitation to meet ignorance with kindness, Tolstoy writes:
You should respond with kindness toward evil done to you, and you will destroy in an evil person that pleasure which he derives from evil.
In the entry for February 3, he revisits the subject:
Kindness is for your soul as health is for your body: you do not notice it when you have it.
After copying out two kindness-related quotations from Jeremy Bentham (“A person becomes happy to the same extent to which he or she gives happiness to other people.”) and John Ruskin (“The will of God for us is to live in happiness and to take an interest in the lives of others.”), Tolstoy adds:
Love is real only when a person can sacrifice himself for another person. Only when a person forgets himself for the sake of another, and lives for another creature, only this kind of love can be called true love, and only in this love do we see the blessing and reward of life. This is the foundation of the world.
Nothing can make our life, or the lives of other people, more beautiful than perpetual kindness.
“Nothing can make our life, or the lives of other people, more beautiful than perpetual kindness.”
“Practice kindness all day to everybody and you will realize you’re already in heaven now,” Jack Kerouac wrote in a beautiful letter to his first wife and lifelong friend. Somehow, despite our sincerest intentions, we repeatedly fall short of this earthly divinity, so readily available yet so easily elusive. And yet in our culture, it has been aptly observed, “we are never as kind as we want to be, but nothing outrages us more than people being unkind to us.” In his stirring Syracuse commencement address, George Saunders confessed with unsentimental ruefulness: “What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness.” I doubt any decent person, upon candid reflection, would rank any other species of regret higher. To be human is to leap toward our highest moral potentialities, only to trip over the foibled actualities of our reflexive patterns. To be a good human is to keep leaping anyway.
In the middle of his fifty-fifth year, Leo Tolstoy (September 9, 1828–November 20, 1910) set out to construct a reliable springboard for these moral leaps by compiling “a wise thought for every day of the year, from the greatest philosophers of all times and all people,” whose wisdom “gives one great inner force, calmness, and happiness” — thinkers and spiritual leaders who have shed light on what is most important in living a rewarding and meaningful life. Such a book, Tolstoy envisioned, would tell a person “about the Good Way of Life.” He spent the next seventeen years on the project.
In 1902, by then seriously ill and facing his own mortality, Tolstoy finally completed the manuscript under the working title A Wise Thought for Every Day. It was published two years later, in Russian, but it took nearly a century for the first English translation, by Peter Sekirin, to appear: A Calendar of Wisdom: Daily Thoughts to Nourish the Soul, Written and Selected from the World’s Sacred Texts (public library). For each day of the year, Tolstoy had selected several quotes by great thinkers around a particular theme, then contributed his own thoughts on the subject, with kindness as the pillar of the book’s moral sensibility.
Perhaps prompted by the creaturely severity and the clenching of heart induced by winter’s coldest, darkest days, or perhaps by the renewed resolve for moral betterment with which we face each new year, he writes in the entry for January 7:
The kinder and the more thoughtful a person is, the more kindness he can find in other people.
Kindness enriches our life; with kindness mysterious things become clear, difficult things become easy, and dull things become cheerful.
At the end of the month, in a sentiment Carl Sagan would come to echo in his lovely invitation to meet ignorance with kindness, Tolstoy writes:
You should respond with kindness toward evil done to you, and you will destroy in an evil person that pleasure which he derives from evil.
In the entry for February 3, he revisits the subject:
Kindness is for your soul as health is for your body: you do not notice it when you have it.
After copying out two kindness-related quotations from Jeremy Bentham (“A person becomes happy to the same extent to which he or she gives happiness to other people.”) and John Ruskin (“The will of God for us is to live in happiness and to take an interest in the lives of others.”), Tolstoy adds:
Love is real only when a person can sacrifice himself for another person. Only when a person forgets himself for the sake of another, and lives for another creature, only this kind of love can be called true love, and only in this love do we see the blessing and reward of life. This is the foundation of the world.
Nothing can make our life, or the lives of other people, more beautiful than perpetual kindness.
Friday, July 26, 2019
I know how much you care about me, and trust me
You have done me the discourtesy and dishonesty of leaving my jointly-held home inaccessible to me - at a time I could really make use of its fine, first-world comforts.
"Not even the undying love and loyalty of a tender, loving woman could cause him to self-reflect, and losing that love has no impact, either." - seen online
"Not even the undying love and loyalty of a tender, loving woman could cause him to self-reflect, and losing that love has no impact, either." - seen online
Thursday, July 25, 2019
Tuesday, July 9, 2019
Stevie Wonder "As" (2008)
2:47-3:03: I find these spoken words highly relevant to getting though life respectfully, graciously, beautifully - while in fellowship with others - not true?
[I share this clip every year, usually around late July. I can't see any reason why Today shouldn't be that day - eh?]
Saturday, July 6, 2019
Midnight Oil "One Country"
Who'd like to change the world, who wants to shoot the curl.
Who gets to work for bread, who wants to get ahead
Who hands out equal rights, who starts and ends that fight
And not rant and rave, or end up a slave
Who can make hard won gains, fall like the summer rain
Now every man must be, what his life can be
So don't call me the tune - I will walk away
Who wants to please everyone, who says it all can be done
Still sit up on that fence, no one I've heard of yet
Don't call me baby, don't talk in maybes
Don't talk like has-beans, sing it like it should be
Who laughs at the nagging doubt, lying on a neon shroud [running around]
Just gotta touch someone, hey, I want to be [someone?]
So don't call me the tune - I will walk away
Don't call me the tune - I will walk away
Don't call me the tune - I will walk away
(One Country) Who wants to sit around, turn it up turn it down
Only a man can be, what his life can be
One vision, one people, one landmass
We are defenseless, we have a lifeline
One ocean, one policy, seabed lies
One passion, one movement, one instant
One difference, one lifetime, one understanding
(One country)
Transgression, redemption, one island blue
Our place (magic?), one firmament
One element, one moment, one fusion
Yes, and: one time.
Who gets to work for bread, who wants to get ahead
Who hands out equal rights, who starts and ends that fight
And not rant and rave, or end up a slave
Who can make hard won gains, fall like the summer rain
Now every man must be, what his life can be
So don't call me the tune - I will walk away
Who wants to please everyone, who says it all can be done
Still sit up on that fence, no one I've heard of yet
Don't call me baby, don't talk in maybes
Don't talk like has-beans, sing it like it should be
Who laughs at the nagging doubt, lying on a neon shroud [running around]
Just gotta touch someone, hey, I want to be [someone?]
So don't call me the tune - I will walk away
Don't call me the tune - I will walk away
Don't call me the tune - I will walk away
(One Country) Who wants to sit around, turn it up turn it down
Only a man can be, what his life can be
One vision, one people, one landmass
We are defenseless, we have a lifeline
One ocean, one policy, seabed lies
One passion, one movement, one instant
One difference, one lifetime, one understanding
(One country)
Transgression, redemption, one island blue
Our place (magic?), one firmament
One element, one moment, one fusion
Yes, and: one time.
Friday, July 5, 2019
Emotional Toolbox
I, Anna (for I do have a name, and a real entity), am rereading Elinor Greenberg’s book, “Borderline, Narcissistic and Schizoid Adaptations” and I have arrived at page 61, which suggests the idea of an emotional toolbox.
I have heard of this idea before - that of a helpful toolbox that is there for the person to make use of, to improve their experience of a moment.
I don’t know how much I have integrated and developed this concept, YET, for myself and those who interface with me. (Not much, I have to assume - as I don’t seem to be receiving the benefits from having turned to something useful that works.)
But: I can nevertheless output as is, or reformulate, what I take in from this book - and the useful works of others. To start with. I can grasp onto, derive meaning and value from, integrate and synthesize helpful ideas and approaches, which can help me travel from despair to greater competency.
So: right now, I will type out some perspective-enhancing comments that immediately resonate. Constructing a note card is suggested for the idea of a “real” object going into an actual, physical toolbox that a person can turn to for help - a note card with a helpful idea on it, to look at and hold.
I laughed heartily at the mentions of these two particular possibly helpful note cards: “You are taking this too seriously. This is not a cure for cancer.” and “Stop being so passive. You can complain or leave. This is not Auschwitz.”
d'Oh wow - ha ha ha ha ha! Some of my issues - well captured! I feel somewhat of a greater sense of perspective (mastery of scary situation?) already! Yay yay yay, and oyez oyez! :-) Coolio. I’m not in concentration camp, the outcome of the world is not hinging solely on my good output, and I am actually at least somewhat free to self-activate? What a freeing AND scary cognition, all in one. Heh. Let's see what comes next, in this helpful book that I am hoping can influence and guide some of my next phases of personal growth and recovery.
I have heard of this idea before - that of a helpful toolbox that is there for the person to make use of, to improve their experience of a moment.
I don’t know how much I have integrated and developed this concept, YET, for myself and those who interface with me. (Not much, I have to assume - as I don’t seem to be receiving the benefits from having turned to something useful that works.)
But: I can nevertheless output as is, or reformulate, what I take in from this book - and the useful works of others. To start with. I can grasp onto, derive meaning and value from, integrate and synthesize helpful ideas and approaches, which can help me travel from despair to greater competency.
So: right now, I will type out some perspective-enhancing comments that immediately resonate. Constructing a note card is suggested for the idea of a “real” object going into an actual, physical toolbox that a person can turn to for help - a note card with a helpful idea on it, to look at and hold.
I laughed heartily at the mentions of these two particular possibly helpful note cards: “You are taking this too seriously. This is not a cure for cancer.” and “Stop being so passive. You can complain or leave. This is not Auschwitz.”
d'Oh wow - ha ha ha ha ha! Some of my issues - well captured! I feel somewhat of a greater sense of perspective (mastery of scary situation?) already! Yay yay yay, and oyez oyez! :-) Coolio. I’m not in concentration camp, the outcome of the world is not hinging solely on my good output, and I am actually at least somewhat free to self-activate? What a freeing AND scary cognition, all in one. Heh. Let's see what comes next, in this helpful book that I am hoping can influence and guide some of my next phases of personal growth and recovery.
Thursday, July 4, 2019
Tuesday, July 2, 2019
Monday, July 1, 2019
I can become able to do this thing
I can become able to be a better person - yes?
Do I want this - for Self and family, friends, contacts?
Will I become progressively able to do this - with a commitment, followed by real effort, to taking/making this so-called righteous path?
[And now I turn this around and ask YOU the same questions - for: that last bit was written by self, for self and others. ;-) ]
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